Big and strong and can fend for itself. Let the thoughts control the emotions. Control. Discipline. Release only the few emotions you want. You have to have a beer and tan a little. Beat down the feelings you DON'T want. Maybe deaf, drown. Lock in. You may not even need to lock them up. You have the privilege of not having to drag around troublesome feelings. Or benefit by the way? An obvious thing is what it is. A bit hard to understand how the topic of feelings is relevant at all. Haven't cried in maybe 25 years. Never gets angry (only at idiots in traffic who deserve it). It seems so exhausting, and not a little ridiculous, to go around fretting over your feelings. How would that work? After all, you have a responsible job that requires its husband. Or woman.
You achieve measurable results and therefore know your worth. When you become idle at some point, it happens that your body crawls a little, maybe on vacation, or on the occasional Sunday morning. So you make sure to keep yourself busy. It's fine.
Still, it's as if life has lost its colors a little. But if you happen to notice it, you have a lot of help from that inner voice that tells you to just bite the bullet. Who cares about colors? One more step. One more step. You just bought your second Tesla. You have nothing to complain about, to whine about. Only weak people feel. You shudder at the mere thought. You stick together. Your armor is strong. Your armor is also heavy. Very heavy. You built up the armor because you needed it. Through hard times it has helped you survive. You have adapted and added throughout life. It protects the sensitive that is you, deep inside. Perhaps it protects your inner self so effectively that you yourself feel like you are outside the armor and see an impregnable fortress when you look at yourself. Impregnable and incomprehensible. Scary, because what is there inside the walls is unknown, forgotten, abandoned. But the fear of this terrifying, impenetrable and incomprehensible is, it too, locked away. The fear is only reminded as a crawling in the body that idle moment on an ordinary Sunday morning. It feels like the castle is haunted. But that hunch, that feeling, it takes care of your inner voice. Down in the dungeon. Pull yourself up. One more step. One more step. Tomorrow is Monday and you have to work. You have a responsible job that suffocates her husband. Or woman.
Sometime in the future when you've found motivation and ventured into the abandoned castle, you find yourself slowly softening. You notice that there are colors that you had forgotten. Your armor is flexible and compliant. It easily changes from its old hard appearance to paper-thin fabric depending on the circumstances. Your responsible work nourishes you instead of weighing you down. Maybe because you've traded it for a completely different job. Or maybe because you noticed that you actually love what you do and no longer perform just to feel your worth.
For many people, in the end, the longing and desire for development becomes greater than the resistance. Then it's time. When curiosity outweighs fear, then it's time to explore that impregnable fort.
Welcome to Vitaliseras courses for life
(Written by Ola Ek, group leader)
