It is a beautiful summer day. Calm wind. A few fluffy clouds hover over a green field. An acquaintance comes walking towards you. "The sky is yellow," says the person. A patently false statement. It's so absurd you don't really know how to respond. You, and everyone, know that the sky is actually blue. Yet this person claims the sky is yellow. You don't understand the reason why he says that. What you understand is that it has to do with that person. Your knowledge that the sky is blue is not disturbed in any way.
Maybe your acquaintance is joking, maybe hallucinating, maybe he is philosophical, maybe the person has a strange color blindness, maybe it is a vivid memory of a beautiful sunrise. You do not know. You just know that the statement "the sky is yellow" tells you something about this person and hardly anything at all about the actual color of the sky right now. It's just a little weird. Hardly even provocative, you shrug and continue enjoying the blue sky. It's just as blue as it was before you joined.
Next morning. You feel unusually alert and at peace. A slightly different feeling. Something is safer and more spacious in your chest. Cheeks feel smooth and relaxed. You get up and face yourself in the mirror. You look deeply into the two eyes on the other side of the glass. Today you allow yourself to like what you see. A deep and warm breath surprises you. A small smile sails by and disappears. Unusual and a little nice. A moment later you are standing out in the field again and looking at the sky. Same weather as yesterday. A lovely blue color over the sky. The grass seems greener to you than usual. The same acquaintance appears. "You're ugly," he says. Your whole well-being disappears like a frightened animal. You shrink inside and the shame suffocates you. Your day is ruined.
Later you wonder why there is a difference between "the sky is yellow" and "you are ugly". Why are you handing over power over your experience to a person you barely know? Why do you attach such importance to what that person says? Yes why?
Everything we say and do tells us a lot about ourselves and really very little about what or who we are talking about. If I say "you're ugly" it tells about my preferences in terms of appearance, it tells me that I'm careless with how I express myself, maybe that I need to push someone else down to avoid feeling my own uncertainty. It doesn't tell you anything about what you look like. Yet we often take that and similar statements as objective truths. We hand over power over ours feeling to the surroundings. You see a clearly unsuitable manager and give him the keys to your home. It happens unconsciously and lightning fast.
The long-term solution to this is to realize more and more that all my opinions and statements say the most about me and all yours say the most about you. You have no obligation to believe or even take a stand on everything I or anyone else says. For example, you don't have to believe this text. It tells a lot about me and mine fears. It doesn't have to be relevant to you, although I think it might be.
It is a beautiful summer day. You know the sky is blue no matter what anyone says. They can say just about anything. The sky is still blue and you see yourself in the mirror.
